So my Word of the Year for 2020 was ‘believe’...wow! Who would have thought that it would have been put to the test so thoroughly? Hindsight truly is not 2020!
What a roller coaster of an year it has been. And yet, now that it is almost at an end, I feel nothing but gratitude. For all the good that happened, for the bad that did not turn worse. Every step of our adult life is a battle- with crises, with others, and perhaps worst of all, with ourselves. And 2020 did nothing to help that. Or did it?
So many thousands of people suffered this year- in terms of their health, job security, loss of a family member or friend. So it may seem privileged and insincere to still be thankful for all that the year has brought. But it would be equally unfair to negate the blessings. It’s often said that grief should not be compared, and I think it is important to remember that. The year has given, as it has taken away.
This year, I got the chance to freelance at a prestigious university, something that I had ‘manifested’ into the universe last year. Now that you have rolled your eyes, I didn’t believe in such things either. But what are manifestations essentially? They are goals you set for yourself, and hold yourself accountable for them. The daily, weekly, or monthly reminders you give yourself are basically checks and balances that ensure you continuously work towards that goal. And that is a great way to eventually achieve that!
And that’s what the Word of the Year was about, anyway. To believe in the universe, but eventually myself! And it’s an ongoing journey, not a destination. And that journey continues in 2021.
In 2020, I discovered a side of myself that I never thought possible- businesswoman! Haha...it feels weird to say, and not think of tall, lithe women in power suits and hipster glasses. I’m not all that, and I still cringe when somebody refers to me as such. But that’s what it is. I started my own small business doing something that I love, and sharing that passion with others. Again, I am incredibly priviledged and blessed to have a husband and family who support me in my crazy adventures, and to be able to follow an avenue that does not become self-monetising in the early years.
I started the year working as a sales assistant at a clothing retail store, folding clothes and managing the stock and inventory. And ended the year having started my own business. This year has truly t
aught me the dignity of labour. I have always respected all professions, and treated everybody with equal respect. But once you have seen people put back clothes in a haphazard manner and been the one to pick up after them, it is hard to not have the utmost respect for retail workers! Jokes aside, it wasn’t the easiest job, and it would take a better person than myself to pull it off.
This was the first year I have not been at home to celebrate Diwali. The first time in 27 years! I have not been to India in over an year. And it sucks just so horribly. I was absolutely heartbroken when we decided not to take the risk of flying without an emergency reason. But it was inevitably unavoidable. I am still sad, but I know that the next time we do manage to go, it will be so much more special.
So for me, 2020 will go down in history as the year that taught me so much. Of course, years can’t do that. But all that happened this year did. An important aspect of life is to accept the emotions- the good and the bad, and let yourself feel all of it. The good drives you, motivates you, uplifts you. And the bad- teaches you, and guides you. 2020 has been the same. It has given as it has taken away. And this year, more than anything else, has taught me to believe- that things will be better. That things, people, and circumstances may (and will) change, but I have to take that leap of faith into the unknown. That I need to believe.
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